Bless Her Heart

Avocados

When you were young, did you ever try sticking toothpicks so that you could grow your own avocado plan to hopefully keep your wild-haired chia pet company?

Bet nobody ever told you at the time, that you’d have to wait four to six years for that avocado plant, assuming it did actually become a plant in the first place, to even think about bearing fruit.

And bet you had no clue that if your latest science project actually did work out, you could end up with an avocado tree that was 66 feet tall and two feet in diameter.

Fortunately, we don’t have wait six years for our toothpick-priced avocado pit to turn into a bona fide tree.

And we don’t have to worry about having a 66-foot tall houseplant.

Even better, we don’t have to call six hours ahead for seating at the most popular Mexican restaurant in town to enjoy the best guacamole ever.

We can make it our own homemade guacamole at home in about six minutes…

Remember, all you Mexican restaurant fanatics, we did survive the pandemic, after all…

Ingredients

Avocados: To make the perfect guacamole, your avocado must be…

Yeah, you guessed it…

Perfect.

So what is the perfect avocado for guac?

Perfectly ripe: Avocado that are not ripe enough will be hard and flavorless….while avocados that are too ripe will taste funny.

To see if your avocados are perfectly ripe, gently press the outside of the avocado. 

• If there is no give, the avocado is not ripe yet. They won’t mash properly.
• If there is a little give, the avocado is ripe.
• If there is a lot of give, the avocado may be too ripe. They will give your guacamole a mushy texture.

Grab avocados that still have the stem attached. If the stem has been removed in the store, it’s more likely to have brown spots on the inside.

If you want your avocados to ripen faster, my advice is to buy avocados several days in advance. After getting them home (or to the home), place them in a bag with a banana or apple. Together, the avocado and banana or apple produce ethylene gas, a plant hormone that encourages ripening.

If you want your avocados to ripen less quickly, toss it in the fridge. This will slow down the ripening process.

—Cilantro: Cilantro is a staple in Mexican cuisine. Honestly, I have found that most people either love cilantro or hate it. I love it. My husband hates it. So I use it anyway.

—Garlic: Garlic is another optional ingredient. Some people like it. Some people don’t. If you are going to use garlic, use fresh garlic or “refrigerator garlic.” Garlic powder can make your guacamole taste chalky or give it a gritty texture.

—Jalapeno: ASome like it hot. Some like it not. Funny, I’ve found that as I’ve gotten older, I honestly don’t care for food as spicy as I once did. But if you want to kick it up a notch, add some serrano pepper.

—Lime: Lime adds flavor and keeps the guacamole from browning. Use real limes, not the bottled stuff. As cute as the bottle may be, fresh lime is simply better…

—Onion: You can use whatever onion you want. Red onions offer better color contrast and a sharper, more pungent flavor.

—Salt: A few pinches of salt can transform a bland and boring guacamole into an interesting, delicious guacamole.

—Tomatoes: Tomatoes are another “optional” ingredients…or so they say…(whoever they is, right(?!)…

Just be careful because they can make the guacamole watery.

If you are adding tomatoes to your guacamole, remove the seeds first. Also remember that Roma tomatoes are the least juicy of all tomatoes typically available.

Ingredients

• 2 ripe avocados, peeled
•  and pitted
• 2Tbsp finely chopped cilantro (optional)
• 1 minced garlic clove (also optional)
• 2 diced Roma tomatoes (also optional)
• 1 seeded and finely diced jalapeno (or serrano) peppers (according to personal preferenence…or tolerance)
• Juice from one freshly squeezed lime (or 1Tbsp of the other stuff…bless your heart)
• ¼C minced onion
• ¼tsp kosher salt
• pinch of pepper (so that the salt doesn’t get lonely)

—Prep the avocados: Cut the avocados in half lengthwise, using a sharp knife. Carefully remove the pit. Score the inside of the avocado with a blunt knife. Spoon out the flesh into a bowl.

—Mash the avocados: Use a fork or potato masher to mash the avocados with the lime juice. How much you mash them is a matter of personal preference…like almost everything else in this recipe.

—Tame the onions: Combine the lime juice, onion and salt in a medium bowl, This helps take the raw bite out of the onion so it’s flavorful without being overpowering. Allow this mixture to meld for five minutes. Then stir this mixture into the mashed avocados. Chili peppers vary individually in their spiciness. So, start with a half of one chili pepper and add more to the guacamole to your desired degree of heat.

—Add the  peppers: If you are fresh peppers, you might wanna wear food-safe gloves. If nothing else, be sure to wash your hands thoroughly after handling them. Do not touch your eyes or anywhere near them for several hours afterwards.

—Season according to taste Adjust according to personal preference by adding a pinch of salt or a dash of lime juice.

—Add the remaining ingredients: Salt will make the guacamole taste more savory and seasoned. Extra lime juice brightens up the guacamole. Lime juice also helps keep your finished guac from turning brown so fast (more on this in a second)…

But a quick word of warning: Chilling tomatoes dulls their flavor. So, add chopped tomato to your guacamole right before serving.

—Serve: Dollop onto a baked potato.

Spread it on toast.

Use as a hamburger or sandwich topping.

—Variations

• Cinnamon and coriander: A pinch of ground cumin or coriander adds depth and gives the dip an earthy, smoky vibe.
• Cayenne pepper and paprika: These two spices will kick it up a little.
• Mayo, Greek yogurt and sour cream: All three of these options will make your guacamole creamier: 
• Lemon juice: You can either lemon or lime juice.
• Salsa: Substitute salsa for the tomatoes and onions.

—The wrong ways to store guacamole: Serve this easy guacamole with tortilla chips, crackers or fresh vegetables.

Guacamole inevitably turns brown…unless you inhale it as quickly as my family does.

This turning brown is called “oxidization.”

I used to throw my guacamole out as soon as it started to turn brown…sadly watching one of my favorite foods go to waste.

But I no longer do this.

I have learned that guacamole is still safe to eat even after it has some light brown spots.

Do not throw it away unless it turns deep brown in color or starts to smell weird.

People typically try to keep guacamole from turning brown by either leaving the pit in the guacamole or placing plastic wrap directly on the top of guacamole.

This may work for a day or two.

But it will eventually turn brown…but more quickly than if you follow the following method:

What to do instead: Place your leftover guacamole in a storage container. Pat it down firmly with a spoon so that the surface is nice and flat on top.

Then add about ½” of cold water on top. You could also uset lemon or lime juice. This serves as a barrier to keep air from getting in and keep the guacamole from turning brown.

Finally, place the lid on the storage container and stick it in the fridge for up to two days. 

When you’re ready to finish off the guacamole, drain the liquid off the top. Then stir it before devouring.

To freeze: Transfer to a freezer-safe container. Add a layer of water or lemon juice to the top surface to protect the guacamole from freezer burn. Secure the lid. Freeze it for up to three months.  To serve, thaw in the fridge overnight.