Bless Her Heart

For many Mississippians, an annual trip to Gulf Shores is about as expected as a trip to the Egg Bowl. 

You write both of those things into your new calendar as soon as you start a one each year…right after you write down everyone’s birthdays. 

These two annual trips – one to Gulf Shores, one to the Egg Bowl – control your calendar. 

If you’re a die-hard Mississippian and plan on having a baby or getting married in the next year, be sure to plan accordingly. 

But wait… 

Just because you find yourself sitting in a football stadium almost every weekend from September to November, does that mean that you understand the game of football? 

Just because you sit on a beach at least once a year, does that mean you totally enjoy being buried under tons of sand…getting a really bad sunburn…and then coming back to a condo to find sand everywhere you look? 

How confusing… 

One second they’re telling you that the higher your hair, the closer you are to God. 

Then the next second they drag you somewhere hot and humid where your hair has no choice, other than to lay there smothering you…like the ears of a Cocker spaniel or something. 

Beaches and football, the best thing about you guys is your location. 

Football games are always located near lots and lots of good food, especially within the SEC…and perhaps alcohol. 

Beaches are always located near historical landmarks, art museums and shopping meccas. 

As they say in real estate: 

Location. Location. Location. 

Why spend more than the 45 minutes required to get good enough beach vacation photos to convince everyone on social media that we’re still a happily married, law-abiding, Christ-fearing Southern family? 

Sorry, gracefully high-tailin’ it out of practically any situation is a very important life skill that my mother did manage to teach me. 

Every true Southern belle quickly learned from a very young age just how handy this skill can be. 

Over the last four decades, I’ve discovered perhaps every art gallery, museum, historical landmark, shopping mecca or whatever other excuse-for-a-place I can find to keep the feet firmly planted to the concrete…making sure that they don’t land in the sand. 

Join me for the next three posts. 

I’ll be sharing a three-day itinerary that explores the 50-something mile stretch of scenic Highway 90 starting in in Bay Saint Louis and ending up in Pascagoula… 

And proceeding from there to where? 

Yeah, you guessed it… 

Gulf Shores.