Bless Her Heart

Eleven years ago – on May 17, 2013 – Admiral McRaven gave his famous commencement speech to the graduating class of the University of Texas, my alma mater.  

This speech convinced many individuals across the country that making their bed every single morning would be the beginning of a brand new life. 

“If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another.  

By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed.  

Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter. If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right. 

And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made — that you made — and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better. 

If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.” 

Desperate to change my world at that time in my life – when my own military hero of a husband and father had just come back from Afghanistan for the fifth time and when we began the process of adopting our youngest son and when so many other things were happening around us – I was quick to jump in on that bedmaking bandwagon. 

For ten years, I made my bed religiously – every single morning – no questions asked…even if making my bed meant that the kids would be late to school…even if I would only have to unmake the bed a few hours later to stick them into the washing machine. 

But then one day I remembered another phrase that I have heard all of my life: 

“You made your bed, now lie in it.” 

Can’t even begin to tell you just how inviting that idea of lying in my freshly made bed for the rest of the day sounded at the time.  

That was the day when I finally realized that I wasn’t going to go to hell if I neglected to make my bed one morning. The world would not come to a complete stop. Life on this planet would not cease to exist. I would simply not have a bed that was made whenever I got ready to crawl back in bed later…probably too exhausted to even care. 

Making my bed was honestly not the issue at stake…at least in my own life…on that particular day…on that first day that I gave myself the permission to deliberately disobey orders from a commanding officer – an admiral at that. 

The true issue at hand was an issue of personal priorities.  

Each of us eventually reaches that point when that inkling of light doesn’t seem to be shining in from anywhere.  

McRaven found his inkling of light in the mere making of his bed every morning. 

Some of us, however, need a little more to get us going and to keep us going. Making our bed just will not cut it. 

At these times, we need to stop. We need to look. We need to listen. 

We need to stop and figure out what is truly important to us and what simply isn’t…or isn’t anymore.  

We need to look at our own lives…regardless if we’ve only been “adulting” for the few short weeks since graduation ceremonies this spring…or for several decades. 

We need to listen to that small voice inside that tells us what activities and and  responsibilities are truly priorities – not only as far as time, but also money and effort.  

Having personal priorities allows you to to do more with less…without feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. You begin to appreciate minimalism. You find yourself choosing quality over quantity.  

Having personal priorities gives you a stronger sense of accomplishment. You make wise decisions. You know which things to say “yes” to and which to avoid like the plague. 

Having personal priorities gives you a sense of direction. You use your resources wisely. You meet deadlines, even those ridiculous deadlines that we so often impose upon ourselves. 

So take the time to establish your own personal priorities.  

Refuse to let other people, including people like Admiral McRaven,  tell you what your priorities are. Do what you need to do first, what’s right for you. Be authentic, genuine and real.